The Last Statement of Dillinger Chapf

by dschapman

“Do you have a last statement?”

“Yes, sir, I do.”

Yes; I bear witness that there is no God, but there is you, and me, and we perceive; From the womb we came and from the womb we will return, and then we will be at rest. To my mother; I thank you. To my friends, I do not thank you, but I would like to. If you only meant so much to me. You have done much for me; and you have done little. For you; love. For me, just another testimony of faith. We all have to walk this path. Not all our wrists are bound. Be, in a word, happy; do not cry. And certainly do not cry for me. In my time, there were always those who cried. I was never one of them.

To the families of any victim, assalaam alaikum, until birth do we belong, and unto birth are we returned. I want you to know that I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for you to get hurt. Couldn’t you see it in my black and endless eyes? Eyes as void as these are not capable of harm. They are as innocent as you. I hope you forgive me. I know that I have already been forgive, by a certain other forgiver.

Go ahead, Warden. I love you, love you too.

“Go ahead, Warden.”

I was a machinist; I was a labourer. I was a carpenter; I was an electrician. I had brown eyes, and brown hair, and labored on a ranch on Highway 30. One summer day in Missouri I shot my partner from the shadows of a nearby peachtree grove. And I am innocent. I know y’alls pain. Believe me; I loved him, he was my Friend. They want to kill me for this; but I am not the man who did this. All I can say is – I Will see Y’all Again.

I would like to say goodbye to my mother and my brother, brother, sister, daughter, brother, father; my heart goes is going thump thump thump. I love my children. I miss them; I will take them with me in my heart. I will keep them in my heart. Thank your praying; and thank you for forgiving. I can’t say this correctly; but I will try. Now more than ever, I need to try. Let’s see. Yes, that’s right; I guess that’s it. “Our father, who art in heaven, Hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen. Jesus, forgive me of my sins. Please forgive me for the sins that I remember.

Quiet singing ]

I only made sixteen dollars from pawning all those televisions, dishes, knives, linen, sewing machines – even that porcelain vase only made me fifty cents. I left the old man in the bedroom, strangled by two wire coat hangers; that is not to say that I strangled. I have committed many sins in my life; that is not to say I committed this one. I am sorry; I am very sorry. And I am not guilty.

Thank the Lord for the years that have allowed me to grow like a man. I have always kept your postcards pinned to my wall; I am sorry I never wrote you back. I have etched no literature in the chalky walls. I have left no note in a hollowed spot by my pillow. If I did, it would have nothing to say, and so I would draw a seagull and begin to whimper like I whimpered as a child when I was left alone. I forgive you. But I cannot say the same for God. Can you hear me, beautiful baby blue? Lead me to still waters; lay with me in green pastures. Keep the ministry strong.

All right, Warden. Let’s give them what they want.

“My name is Dillinger Chapf. And I am ready for the final blessing.”