Letter from a Friend (December 6, 2011)

by dschapman

Listen, please

I am sorry. I am selfish… Last night, I did the most outrageous thing, I ate the most outrageous pill… My heart has a hole in it. I am in the morning air and I am naked. The sun is behind the clouds. What joy of the world I will feel when I reach you! I am on the highway, I am traveling. I want to see you so bad; but so much trouble has come my way, well I, I – it is all my fault. I did it to myself. But you are a true friend so please do not think of me too often. I will only let you down. This is sad; I want to let go of you. I lie to you, I have lied to you too much, yet you are still my friend. You are so good. You have studied long skies and swam in green seas. Every hour or two, between the skies, above the stars, old poetry composes musical scores for opera houses on distant shorelines… banks of rivers….

Below the border, where the sun is a burning hole, below there, where the people have let a lie fool them into the home of a man who has no eyeballs, sitting in the circle of summer, of friends on top of mountains under water, the people are a told a lie and they believe all of his words and promises and they are promised critical praise but in the end, the hero is fake, and his jaw is broken, but no one wants to believe that their hearts were weak and innocent and that they had never been hurt; but now they understand that there is an evil spirit in the world. He is an evil ghoul, desert-dwelling, sometimes greedy and gluttonous; this individual, according to legend, is a robber of graves…

“Shave their heads,” she said, and lightning bolts were shed from the sky. I will support the earth. She said, slowly, “Anyone who delights in the magic of forbidden clans, stay there a while, while the magic is at its worst mastery, where the masters have their little hearts set on little tragedies, and where all my daughters have considered me the creator of the world, the giver of universe.” Explaining the shape of the sea her eyes set a flame and deepened the depth of hell and it is here where I have seen the existence of all of these norms, these traditional myths. It is the last day of life for me in hell. It has been hell.