Sleeper / Son of God

by dschapman

I have welcomed God into my life again. I think in terms of gods of men, and I welcome devotions, prayers, and piety. The world is sick and impious. I have become aware of the theories of guilt and redemption and my heart is heavy with guilt, and I am seeking redemption. I am mostly alone in my beliefs, at least amongst all my contemporaries. There is evidence of men in the past who knew God just as I do, and who were transcended all precepts of knowledge towards actual knowledge, universal and pure. Universality and pureness of constructs called God. Truth is a construct called God, the truthful universality of all extant, non-extant forces and beings.

When I was a very young boy, deluded by juvenile stupidity, it hurt my grandmother something fierce to hear me say the words, “I do not believe in God anymore,” and it drove her to tears, and, even worse, I was remorseless; I was proud. I do not know what I believed, without God. I do not know if then I even believed in Logic. Logic is a more dangerous delusion than God. Logic is animal-like and make-believe. The modern world proclaims itself secular, and the people all call themselves Atheists. I do not know what they mean by Atheism anymore. I was once an Atheist, because I was once a child. As a child, I believed in childish things, like reason, and meaning, and science. When I became a man, I studied the actual world, the natural universe, and I put away my childish ways.

I became intuitive; intuition is wisdom. Descartes wrote about intuition, but he was confused, because Descartes is was a clown. Spinoza wrote about intuition, too, and Spinoza was a genius; he knew of what he wrote, and meant it. God is what he wrote, the written word, the free-standing symbols of the actual world, the metaphysics, the systematic delusions, and it was God he believed in. In my intuition, I saw that something was not right with the logical world, that reason was not rational. I saw that if I believed in reason, humanity, selfhood, love, life, or logic, that I believed then in God, and I believed in the universe.

Scientists should never be Atheists, because science is dynamic and mystical. Follow logic to its philosophical end and you are left with nothing but mysticism. There will always be a deeper “Why,” and there will always be another answer, a new variable introduced, made-up or semantic, and then another reason to ask “Why?” Logic is the stuff of paradox and circularity, unresolvable, absurd; philosophy is little more than a revolving game of semantics, symbols themselves without real justification, off-balanced. At it’s finest, logic is a mere acknowledgement of the universality of reality, the singular facet that is all self-containing. Logic is a symbolic replacement for God, unresolvable, ultimately impossible, perpetually necessary. God is a force beyond Theists and Atheists, a symbol which doesn’t need to be further symbolized in terms of theisms. God is a singular mode of being. God is less than amoebic, shorter than an epithet. God is an utter finality, futile and one. God is the one with the grace of humanity.

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