Geldfundphantasyen

by duncapher

I have been too melodramatic! Zen, I’ve said, it is all very zen. It must all be very zen – or else. I don’t know left from right anymore. It is crazy what the world is doing. I watched Less Than Zero, that was fun. Gatsby was weird. They’ve said it is the same exploitation of sensationalism as before, except now with no morality. They said that in a kitchen window, with a seat by the door! Can you believe it – I can’t, it is really unbelievable. You must be very zen. I am thinking it is time to give up again. I should hand my resignation in.

Stories of the missed opportunities, volume one. Eight months some man from China posted a message on a forum offering shares in his brilliant company. He gave no documentation but asked for 500 bitcoins. Bitcoins at the time cost $12 and he offered 5,000 shares for a “board seat,” which meant nothing, which means you could buy 5,000 shares – a board seat – for $6,000. This man got his money from some strangers on the internet and went on to produce dedicated mining hardware, which “mined” bitcoins quickly by cracking difficult algorithms. He used this hardware himself to generate bitcoins, and then went on to sell the hardware itself at gigantic premiums. 90% of profits were paid out weekly in the form of dividends, resulting in yields in high excess of 100%. Shares of this company could only be bought or sold through personal posts on a forum, where emails and bitcoin addresses were exchanged. There was zero liquidity. Eight months later each share of this company is worth 2 bitcoins, and each bitcoin was worth over $120. That is a 200x return denominated in a currency with a 10x return. A $6,000 investment eight months would be worth over $1.2 million today.

Of course I am a smart man so I did not send $6,000 to a man from China over a forum using an underground currency. I am not a millionaire boardmember in a $100 million company. Hah! I am not upset about that. I would never have held out so long anyway – and taxes would eat it all up. But everything is percentage points these days. I think in percentage points and can not get away from them. When I accelerate from 40 mph to 60 mph I consider it a 50% return. I am crazy wild with percentages. It will turn my hair white and my hair will fall out and I’ll gag on it; yes, that’s what I’ll do.

In my dream the old Thai man was cutting up meat in the warehouse and I said, “That meat looks disgusting,” and he agreed. He told me he does not eat it. He said he only eats goldfish. I laughed and he said “Here, try some.” It is very important to never turn down an offering of food from your host so I went along with it. He took a small glass half-full of water with a ball of rice and a leaf of lettuce in it, and he poured in a very small butterfly fish. I wanted it – it looked very healthy and beautiful. The fish swam around the rice ball and I felt thirsty. It looked very clean and well-hydrated. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it so the old man took his chopsticks and ate it, fish and rice and all, water too, somehow, in one bite. I was jealous – it looked so delicious, but I could not eat it.

That Elon Musk is at it again… I did not trust him – but I should have! Instead I trusted an Austrian. And look where that got me. Never trust an Austrian! They are probably honest people. But I am a Keynesian, even if he was soft. He was in love with Wittgenstein. Everyone smart loves Wittgenstein. That is a fact.

There is a lot of work to do yet! If I were a hard-working man I’d be working right now. I could write a novel that gets developed into a movie with Patrick Bateman in it or maybe a TV show with Sean Bean and then I can at least start a family. Every night I go to sleep I drift off to the thought of waking up 8 months in the past, as though the last few months were just dream. Send me back 8 months and I’ll make myself a millionaire. If I were a grinder and a hustler I could be in the city right now, working on a lucrative contract. I could be a businessman. But I am a dog-child, and I am not good and hardworking. A dog-child sleeps when he wants to.

A black widow spider crawled out across my pillow as I turned on the light over my bed. I laughed and I scooped it up with a sheet of paper and then I crushed it with my heel.

Fish literature. What am I thinking? I need new socks and I need to go back to the gym. And I need to be zen. I imagine a boy on a horse walking through these woods here, one hundred years ago, I dream up the preist in the house with the shotgun. Why are they on my mind these days? I’m back in Faulkner country now. I hate the hot sun and I’m scared of it. It will burn me in the end. And I am alone with it, dog and child.