With A Long Way To Go

by dschapman

It feels like I have gone nowhere for years now, walking backwards slowly in place with my hands hanging uselessly at my sides, but in fact I have been working, studiously and with great paranoia, and in fact I have gone absolutely nowhere. Working doesn’t exist. I can not even move my hands without getting anxious. I can’t even handle a tool. I grasped a hammer in my hand and I held it above my head like a Communist. What are stars, and what are they doing in the sky? Well, stars are suns. What are suns, and why are they so bright? Suns aren’t bright; it is only that your eyes are hyper-sensitive. Like ships, they are good at sailing, and their narrow bows cut cleanly through the orange waves as the lovers ride from island to islands; when they landed, they raised an army, and they declared the island their own, like imperialists. They made love on the island until they died, and the natives retook their capital, instituted a modern nation state, and burned the cursed ships of the merry-makers.

Above my head the cosmos spins. I can’t make heads or tails of it. I jump, and in one instant am inches closer to the sun. Don’t be stupid.

What did she say to him this time? He is really pathetic. He doesn’t understand what is really going on around him. He thinks he has rights to it all, but he doesn’t deserve any of it. Aphroditus, with his penis out, had all the good fun he could stand for the night, and then disappeared again into his blouse. The mules marched into the barn and got high on amphetamines while the motionless purple light glistened through the distant rain and turned it to snow, cold and immobile. A fashion rose out of the ice like a kaiju and rolled its fleshy sex across the passionate landscape, moving like a ball of ants through a brave and perpetual darkness, trains roaring through the clouds and dripping oil, horse manure under their fingertips.

I am not a master. I am masterless. There is no master here, in any capacity, and those that there are do not feel very well. If I had a master, perhaps we could work together… What marvelous things would we do? What magnificent sights would we see? Have you been to Pompey? Have you balanced a basketball on one finger? Were you naked when you watched them dance? Dance, little promiscuity; dance.

 

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